quadtails

You know how some people have to rely on others for modern conveniences?

Like the car, for example..

Some people have it, others don't. To travel long distances, you obviously need one.. or a lot of money for a taxi unless you're lucky enough to live in a metro area. People DO get annoyed if they have to help you out a lot, especially when you can't fund them for it as much as you'd like to. America.. yeaaaah. More like a slow transition to a 3rd world country at the rate we're going..

Anyway, this post is about how I have to get others to order stuff online for me.. then I just give them the cash for it. I guess I feel kinda stupid not knowing I could just go get a prepaid credit card (I only have cash..), but other times, I wish there were this freggin' dollar slot on my computer where I could order stuff online like that. My *relative* is getting tired of doing this.. so I'm just going to take the prepaid cc route this time if I can. I've got an ID, SS card, and all the BS they need.. so they'd better not turn me down.

I guess there's just too much negativity/technobabble for the average internet joe in this journal. Ah well.. let's see what I'm ecstatic about..


FedEX is slow dammit, arg. I've waited a week for Albany's new motherboard to come in so I can assemble her *new* PC.


What's 'new' to me is probably quite ancient to you guys, but before any of you say I don't know dick about technology, I built my PC in November of last year with all modern parts ordered from Newegg.. granted I reused the 7 year old PC case and 5 year old Antec 350w power supply, but hey, I'm not using high end equipment; Just a AMD Athlon II x2 Regor 2.8 GHz, 320 GB + 120 GB HD, 2 gb DDR2, and an ATI Radeon 4670 fanless card. I'm not a super gamer, but I like being able to play most games in high resolution. I grew so damn sick of lowering the graphical settings in every game I wanted to play on my old PC. Those days are over.. until this PC becomes outdated. If you think my machine is old, take a look at my PC from BEFORE:

AMD Athlon XP 2000+ 1.67 GHz w/ 256 kb cache (Always ran ridiculously hot.. super noisy fan)
768 mb DDR ram (Bleh)
2x 120 GB HDs (OK)
NVidia GeForce FX 5200 AGP (piece of shit with a dead fan)


ANYWAY, this is supposed to be about the PC I'm building for Albany.. she's using a similarly old setup that I used to have, only it's older...

Intel Celeron 1.8 GHz w/ 128 KB cache (Slow)
40 GB HD (OK)
Intel 82845 chipset w/ integrated video (Yuck!)
512 mb DDR ram (Blehh)

... this is the 'new' setup I'm building...

Intel Pentium 4 HT 631 CPU 3 GHz w/ 2 mb cache (Yay)
1 gb DDR2 ram (Alright)
160 GB HD (OK)
SiS 671 Mirage 3 graphics (Integrated.. I know.. but it has to be better than a 10 year old integrated video chipset!)

What's the case I'm using you might ask? Well, take a guess.. no wait, I'll tell you anyway. It's an eMachine T5309 case I'm using; apparently it utilizes the micro atx form factor; The motherboard in it was dead (bad mosfet; I couldn't fix it even if my life depended on it) This was a computer I received after trying to fix it for a friend; instead I just sold her an old PC really cheap.

Needless to say, I'll be really pissed off if the case fries the motherboard.. but I honestly think the last one was destroyed because of excessive heat from a seriously clogged heatsink.. overheating a mosfet and shorting it.

Is it because I'm a Tails fan, yet I'm not really a furry? Who knows. My experience with them seems to be like this..

I say hi, we engage in discussion, but he (never met a female furry) grows an inflated ego telling me what I'm doing is wrong, ignorant, etc., and tries to further lecture me why I'm a "moron" in his book just before giving me post-advice. It ALWAYS seems to happen with them. Why no one else? People with inflated egos make me want to kill a kitten (though I would never condone nor support such!).

And other times, they just seem to be really dry and sound even more pessimistic than I do, almost as if they were clinically depressed. I used to be like that, sorta, maybe? But I grew my pubes in and stopped acting like a dipshit.

It sorta goes the same way with people who spend 99% of their life online.. they always think they're right about everything and the only way you're gonna get a nice response from them is if YOU applaud them for their abilities, and even then, they'll make a snobby statement such as "Pfft, duh. Why wouldn't I be that cool?" or "Thank you for stating the obvious." Wait, no.. that's not a polite statement, that's just more "jackass-ery" from an inflated egotistical moron.

And then you've got the people who are difficult to amuse unless you tell a joke about some sort of math problem or failure in history, but that's a whole 'nother story altogether.

This journal is not to say there aren't kind furries out there (I've got a few furry friends.. not many mind you), but a lot of them need to stop thinking they're real-know-it-alls just because they moderate a forum or help assist programming a fucking computer game. I mean, hell, I consider myself a genius at writing music, but that doesn't mean I'm some omniscient being like you, yourself claim you are. Besides, if you knew everything about everything, wouldn't life get depressing? Life's full of surprises.. just imagine if you could predict every single one of those surprises before they happened, before anyone gave them thought.. see where I'm going with this? No one likes a 'brainiac'. You might even turn into one of those infinitely wealthy guys who commits suicide because he/she grows bored with life. Would you really want to be like that? I know I wouldn't.

Anyway, I'm done.. later.

and I have to say, I'm kinda surprised as to how I've changed over the years.


Today:
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

5 years ago...
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High




URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

Facebook and Deviantart became my outlets for raging and laughing at myself, but then I got tired of them.. and came back here!

Let's see what's going on with my life..

- I still live in the same town, same state, and same country.. and the same house.
- I have an epic, kick ass computer with a monster video card (If you think the ATI Radeon HD 4670 is awesome.)
- I live with the 'bestest' girlfriend ever. Thank you OKCupid!
- I've endured a shit-load of hardships since I lasted updated my LJ in '08, mainly from family.
- I still don't have a job.. unless it's being the computer repair guy down the street. :P

Contrary to what I said with my art not improving, it actually has improved.. a lot. Not as much as I want it to, but it got better.. but then it stopped again. My artistic abilities like to sleep a lot.

As much as I'd like to update my journal set and all, I'm too lazy to do so.. and I think I'd probably just make it look worse. (EDIT: I did anyway.)

I need to start reading that freggin' GED book I checked out.. but I hate reading! GAAAAH...

The only other thing I'm looking forward to right now is assembling a modern PC for my girlfriend. I get disappointed looking at her using some old 10 year old Celeron-based PC right next to my PC.. which is less than 6 months old.

And that's all I have to say.. about that. o_o;

Umm...Kiarri says "hewo o-o" annnnnnnnd, she told me to update this...thingimabob. Umm..sooo...what has happened lately? Well...umm..I'm on the phone with her...and her sister keeps interrupting our conversation, annnnnnd, I'm still waiting for her sister to shut up...annnnnnnd...her dog (daisy) was licking poo water...and somebody's eyes are burning from what I hear on the headset....I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but whatever it is, I want it to stop...and Kiarri just said "IT'S SO CUTE!!!"..and now she just said "hello". She just "ummm"...and my grandma just said we're a bunch of dumba**ed rednecks.

What am I doing to put myself in a pessimistic mood each and every day? I follow the rules, I do my school-work, in rare-cases, I do my given chores (which are rare, as stated). To my unbelief, I made a few friends at school. And to my amazement...I came across a girl who seemed innocent, smart, cuddly, and above all, lovable...and somehow I had the guts to ask her out. She agreed, and so now..yeah..we're lovebirds..so...bleh. But back onto the subject of being miserable... I just don't understand. I made some friends, I even made a love, and I"m still as pessimistic as ever. Oh sure, I have something to be proud of, my overly-rated musical talent. With that being said, I also wonder when my common sense will be filled completely....because obviously..it's not all there yet. I still struggle with standing up straight, so you might as well give up on teaching me the whole "Self-defense" thing too (have you seen me try to throw a punch? It's the funniest thing...ever). Sometimes I wonder to life, why I was done like this, and why I'm not in starving in Africa like I should be, as miserable as I am. I'm still trying to expel stress through physical means. (I.E., cutting arm, slamming finger into drawer..anything that is painful). I want someone to talk to, someone who will listen to me, someone who will have patience with me, someone who will not give up on me, someone who will understand me, but above all, someone who will NOT forget. Negligence is a major factor as to why I'm never happy. If for just once in my life..someone would stay around me, someone I could hug, someone I could always trust and rely one, someone who would help me through the steps in life, maybe then, I could see myself at a happier stand-still.